Hope

So Will and I had the talk. We aren't going out anymore. Turns out he can't love me. He listened to what I had to say, he didn't get defensive or angry, he just realized that he can't be what I need. He said it wasn't me. He knows I was the best thing that ever happened to him, he just hasn't resolved the issues that developed from his past relationships and he can't open up again, at least not anytime soon. So I broke it off. Maybe it'll take the realization of losing me for him to change, or maybe not. Either way I think I'll be happier. There's always more fish in the sea. I loved him to death, but I'll get over it. It's easier to break up with someone when you don't feel loved by them. Now I might be able to move on and meet someone who will actually love me for who I am. I still have hope.

Nutrisystem Diet

I've been on the Nutrisystem diet on and off for the past couple months. The last few days however I've been strictly on it and I can already tell that it's working. First off, my digestion system had to get used to the new type of food, it's not exactly the diet of pizza and pop that i've been used to. So now that thats done, my body is adjusting to the smaller portion meals, so that isn't an issue anymore either. I really enjoy the food, in fact, I'm about to make myself some pancakes in a minute......... Ok so I just went out of my room to make my pancakes and there's a boy sleeping on the couch lol. Random much? He's cute too. lol. Anyways so the food is good and very easy to make. I'm going to start keeping record of my wieght and what I eat on the nutrisysytem website. I really think this is going to work. I'll keep you updated.

Relationship Update

So the way things are going with Will, we may not be going out much longer. The problem is that he doesn't treat me like a girlfriend, he treats me like a friend with benefits. That is not what I'm looking for right now in my life. I am a damn good girlfriend and I deserve to be treated like one. It's like there's no more romance in the relationship, no more chemistry. He rarely ever does anything sweet or thoughtful. He's made empty promises from months ago that he has yet to fulfill. Not to mention, because he doesn't want someone who's clingy, I have to change who I am, and be somebody else 24/7. That's not fair to me either. I want to be with someone who loves me for me. Lately, half the time, I'm happy in the relationship. He's taken me bowling twice, which was nice, like a little date, but other than that, we don't do anything. Plus he's never there for me. It's like we only hang out or talk on the phone when he wants to. What I want means nothing, because I have to be somebody else. It's depressing, all the time. I talked to his best freind Meagan and apparently when he went out with this girl Renee a while back he did all those sweet things. He was an awesome boyfreind. Meagan told me that Renee ruined it for him because she didn't appreciate any of it and was a bitch or something like that. Thing is, that was a long time ago, get over it. I need that in a relationship. He's not even trying anymore. So if things don't change and I mean soon, then I'm going to have to end this relationship. I love him to death, but I'll get over it. I know I can find a guy just as good as Will who will actually appreciate and love me for who I am.