OMG

The Ice Cream Truck is outside!!!! I can hear it! I want some so bad! Stupid diet!

Revelation

Ok so I need to express this little revelation I had last night, but first there's backround information to know. Brandon and I broke up Thursday night. Well it was kinda like a break up. We aren't currently "in a relationship," we're kinda putting it on hold. Brandon is in quite a bit of debt, about $3,000 worth not including current bills to pay and saving up for school next semester. He is sooo stressed out about it that it's all he can think about. This was the main reason he didn't want to rush into things and be in a relationship with me too soon. He doesn't have time for me or the money to spend on me like he wants to. He works like 9-12 hours a day, 5 days a week. One of the other two days he has off, he wants to spend relaxing or hanging with the guys, which leaves me one day to be with him, maybe and then maybe an evening or two during the week where he's exhausted anyway and doesn't feel up to doing anything fun. He's made it clear to me that he does want to be in a relationship with me, he really cares about me and enjoys spending time with me, and he says I'm a great girl who deserves to be treated right but right now he can't do that. He wants to wait until his finances are in order and he can focus on me. Which I can understand. We just fought so much recently about time and money and affection which is why he decided to put us on hold. I cried of course, but he was there for me, and he explained that he's not going anywhere, we can still hang out and be freinds, but no relationship stuff til he's ready, which means no sex too. I asked him then, why a couple weeks ago was it not fair for me to hold out on sex because we weren't dating after all the sex i'd already given him, and he said that it was selfish of him to say that, which it was, and I'm glad he realized that. I can't have sex with him or anything like that, without developing some emotional attachment. So we're holding off on that as well.
My revelation is as follows. This was a smart idea. I appreciate the fact that he wants to wait to be with me until he has the time and money to treat me right. I know it will take awhile to pay off the debt, maybe a couple months, hopefully not, but maybe. If we do well staying freinds and get to know each other better, then this will have all been for the better, and we'll both be happier for it. I can wait for him, and I trust him. He says it's nothing personal, he's not interested in other girls and there's nothing about me thats bad, he just wants to wait. So I'll wait...

Long Overdue Post

I wish I'd been able to post long before this but my computer was sent out for service awhile back because of a really bad virus. A lot has happened, some of which so bad I can't even mention it on here... So lets just go down the list: Will and I broke up, I met Brandon, Heidi came to visit for my birthday, I bought myself a really nice camera for my birthday, Brandon and I started dating, bad shit happened, classes are going really well, i bought my halloween costume (Sexy Referee) I'm thinking about getting a new job, and then Brandon and I just "broke up"...kinda. We postponed the relationship for awhile... I guess it's for the best. My diet is still doing great, except for the nasty ass McDonalds that I just ate and threw back up, ew. Never eat McDonalds people, so gross...

So yea that kinda summed it up... I'll try to post more often now that I have a working computer. :-)