Ups and Downs of Life

so in life there are your ups and your downs. right now im in one of those downs. i took my car to get it fixed, you know the story. well it turns out i blew the head gasket and cracked the head, that along with replacing the exhaust, installing a fuel filter and a temp gauge has ended up costing me $830 out of my own pocket. so now i have little to no money. which really sucks because im really not used to that and i dont think i can handle it. this means that i have to keep my budget tight so that i can do things like eat, but it also means i cant get everyone the gifts i wanted to get them for xmas, which is the worst part because i love giving gifts at xmas. i love to make other people happy and now i cant do that. i can make a few people homemade gifts but thats about it. i may be overexagerrating. i havent checked my account balance yet but im scared to. this is all just a little too overwhelming. i hope i can get my neice a birthday present for her first birthday, that means a lot to me, at least i'll be there for it though. i cried so much today... ugh i hate crying. and the other thing is exams are killing me, if i dont do good on them, i may lose my scholarship and then who knows what i'll do. im so confused right now. blogging is actually a release, im getting it all out, its helping a little. (sigh) i miss not having my mom or sisters here to talk to me and hug. im getting pretty homesick, but its not like i can just move back up there or anything. i cant wait for xmas. even though it may not be good without gifts to give, at least ill be with my family. right now im so mad at my car. im giving it the cold shoulder. i hate these parts of life. where you're just like, this sucks. i guess everyone gets through it and i will too, i just dont know why it has to hurt so much. ok well im going to go to bed and hope this headache goes away, i'll blog more when i know more. happy thanksgiving, i hope its better than mine.